When I see you're online, I get butterflies in my stomach. A rush. Like "Omg he's online what should I do". I immediately delete my current status and click on your name waiting for you to IM me. I get impatient. Start to think. What caused this? I hate this so much. I hate not being able to say I have a wonderful boyfriend. He was everything. Yeah, he may not have had a job, he may not go to school, may not have a phone. But there was more. Every time I looked in his gorgeous eyes, everything negative I thought went away. It's like he hypnotized me. All I could see and think about was him, his sweet voice. Think about how lucky I was. Now I'm sitting here. blogging about the past. Gawd I'm so stupid. I'm pathetic. This is crazy. Having these feelings after such a short time of dating. Am I obsessed? What's wrong with me? He said he felt no connection. There was no connection. I'm crazy to keep thinking and dreaming about a guy that is way out of my league. Someone I can never have. Someone I can never call mine. I wish I could say I had you, but apparently, I never did. . . /:
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